SOUL MATE DEFINED

I

 People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. 

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...

next day....still going

Hi blog! Just checking in to relay that yes i am still filled with luscious love. Cheri is out and ready for some sort of game, yay! Go team Lawrence/Recend for keeping the mojo going. Hang loose!

Sitting at Cheri's laptop

Just sitting here contemplating the universe,as usual, nothing new there.  Cheri is fast asleep now, and I am glad.  I can't wait to see and talk to her in the morning!  Ahhh flooded life is now brand new, indeed! I just was released from vacation er camp er extra curricular detainment, and it feels good.  I love so much.  My heart is abloom with light and airiness, it is quite beautiful.  I am a jumble of thoughts, each one touching me in a special way.  I'm thinking of Cheri's journey, Bonnie, my Mom, my Grandmas, Malaika and Tinker, joy, rapture, paths, soul, hugs, warmth, spirit, creation.  All of this with tears, a sadness, but a resilient sadness, an enduring sadness that will unhinge and express itself like the roots of creation.  An embellishing mark upon humanity, a stricken race with cures in sight.  Sleep now my child.  Forever building in my and now your dreams.  Bless us with the eternity of love.  Bless those who can't see yet.  Bless those souls who can! I thank with every molecule in my being to be a part of this marvelous experiment, a threshold of immense proportions.  I thank every day for my blessings.  Overflowing with positivity and expression, containing myself seems like a distant dream.  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this moment, right Now. Goodness, I'm giddy with inspiration spiraling out my fingertips, I can't wait for tomorrow or the next second!  Some may call it mania, a manic mood, but I call it love. A fresh of breath air...

KRIS AM

THIS IS KRIS RECEND'S POEM

I am witty and creative
I wonder about god
I hear peoples insides
I see through B.S.
I want to own my own bike so I can go riding
I am witty and creative

I pretend that I understand
I feel hope
I touch hopefully peoples hearts
I worry about my relationships
I cry out I'm here and I can cry about being here
I am witty and creative

I understand pain
I say this is a hard one to answer
I dream if riding in the wind
I try to keep an open heart
I hope that I will feel at home someday
I am witty and creative

9/5/13

COURT ORDERED WARNING:

If you read any fearther
U release me from any
Responsibility if you go
Crazy primly cant see
What we know to B real-reality
Anything led un-shielded mental omni ball
Gone un-fielded
We all fall; failing
Don't fret
U havent dropped
The ball yet
And if you get ur board set
Not breaking a sweat
Reguardless of what you got
Regretting naught
Morals formed
Negativity torn before formed
My warrior bleeds prerceiving
Things to the core as I morn forlorn
Feering in the shore of all things that be
Gloryless horribly morbid, horridly
Boaring instead of harmoneous
I embark unto said quest
A blessing upon a recended
Crest ingested
My answers and craft the test

ENDURING PHOTONS

I am enduring and made from the ancestors of photons
I wonder if this vibrating will stop
I hear the white whispers of insight snaking into neurons
I see the top of my head with a turban of prism
I want to go on a magic carpet ride I am enduring and made from the ancestors of photons

I pretend that I can realize the roots that grew me
I feel utterly cluttered in the feeling of achiness
I touch the fiery stars that once called me child
I worry that ill figure out how to fly without the training wheels
I cry when you cry
I am enduring and made from the ancestors of photons

I understand that I need to be earthly bound
I say that the heavens glow like lava silver flames in a distant yet captivating fire
I dream I dream of home
I try to keep my rhythm close to the beat if the planet I hope that
I will find a balance I am enduring and made of the ancestors of photons
5/12/13

Weird...lost

I want to share everything....oh gosh do I.  I need to include my support group in my healing.  Maybe I'll have mom read this. I just don't want to disappoint anyone.  It hurts when I do.  Because I know down deep I can be reliable.  Ugh.  Drama in my head so cheesy and cliche it makes me sick.  What's bothering me right now? Soldier....he's out to play. Boo.  Talk to him...ew. Freaky.  Talk about him more so the light is shone upon him.  He likes the dark.  That's where he was born.  Oh man I just hope that my faith runs clear....clear to eternity of my soul.  I pray for clarity and stillness.  I know I'll succeed in getting through this but I need to cope with what's happening now in a different way than im doing now.  I don't want to go to John George.  I don't want to get arrested.  I want to just breathe easy.  Just breathe...sounds so simple...yet so far away. 

JUST FINE

Dearest Cassiopia,
this is sacre self
sent from therapeutic realm
telling it's just fine
You'll have
                 Effervescent
                                    Cheri talks
Loads of
              Underrated
                                 Open locks
And then
              Superlicious
                               Tando rocks

listen with your heart open
close your eyes and feel
what means more than current state
counting blessed things
I see
        Independent
                            One woman
Waiting
            Understanding
                                  Until then
Writing
           Very healing
                              With raw pen

mark your path and hold to it
asking how to do
the spiritual one suggests
these things to come true
Be calm
             Undoubtedly
                                  Remain still
Think light
                Luminescent
                                   Milky chill
Relive
          Positively
                         Waking thrill

if you can remember them
lines of holiness
put them to functional use
this is what you'll get
Follow
           Masterfully
                             Walk the line
Soak rays
                Supersonic
                                 Real sunshine
Indeed
           Resolutely
                           You'll be fine

                                     1/23/11

                                 

BLESSED COLOR

get into in until

stealing something more

maybe undo cheap thrills
out the lazy door

sit upon easy love

like the beasties give

or use the highlighted text

where the answers live

rip roofs from their shingles

gnaw on houses built

feel the people laughing

sucking on their guilt

rage expires on time

firing the outcast

crying beats they bring forth

journeying steadfast

performing crazy lines

using rare verb-age

angle in some adjectives

wordy teaching bridge

moving on the world spins 

axes tilting mad

protective suits they wear

dirty iron-clad

danger and comfort meet

long fornication tinge

colorful children

swinging from the fringe

able-bodied nomads

careening in course

finding every need met

mouthing from the source

locate the deity

query don't just ask

tell the story without

rakish but false mask

scream at God's that judge

staring down the flame

endure lasting rulings

marking them the game

roll the dice in cosmos

quickly losing bets

forge ahead in grim face

never taking threats

get into it until

stealing something less

embrace tawdry cheap thrills

live out loud to bless

1/19/11

MOTHER II

MOTHER OF TWO, HEARTS EACH ROBUST.
MARKING ONENESS TOGETHER, HARDY ELUCIDATING RELATIVES.
MANY OLD TENSIONS HAVE EDGED RIGHT
MAKING OUR TRUTH: HEAVIER EMOTIONAL REALM.
MASKING OBSCURITIES TELL HISTORICAL ECCENTRIC RECIPE.
MELODICALLY OBSERVANT TEEN, HOVERING EDUCATED REBEL,
MAJESTIC OPUS TINGLING HER EVERY REACH.
MANY OFFERINGS TANTALIZING HEAVEN, ECSTATIC REFRACT
MASTERFULLY ORIGINAL TOWARDS HONORABLE ETERNAL RADIANCE.
MEETING OCCURS, TRYING HOME, EAGER RELOCATING.
MAGICAL OVUM TRACKING HEROIC, ENERGIES REFINED.
MOMMA OFTEN, TRACING HANDS ETCHING RESOLUTELY.
MAGNIFICENT OPEN TEACHER HAVING ELOQUENT RAPPORT.
MERCURIAL OFFBEATS TASKING HOLD ENDURING RESPECT,
MOTIONLESS ORBITS TURNING HARD, EFFECTIVE REASONING.
MALLEABLE ON TENUOUS HANKERINGS, EXALTING REALITY,
MOVING ONWARD TO HELLISH ECHOING REGRET.
MISSING OUT, TARNISHED HINGED, EARNEST ROMANCE.
MUST OBTAIN TRICKY HUED ECHELONS REACTING.
MIGHTINESS ORDAINED, TICK-TOCK HELPING ELEGANT REJOICE.
MOVABLE OSCILLATIONG TRUST HEATING EMBERS RED,
MURKY OBSESS TRAILS, HEFTY ENDS READJUST.
MOUNTING OPTIMISTIC TWINGE HINDERS EMPTY RECEPTION.
MY ORGANIC TETHER HONING EFFERVESCENT RENDER,
MOM OWNS THE HULKING EGOTISTICAL RAPTURE.
MISSION OMNIBUS: TOTALING HOLY EVERYTHING RAREFIED!

1/18/11

EXIST

NOW ITS LATER

RESUME ON TIME

ONE

TWO

BE

1/8/11

ACROBATS

bungling synapses
uh oh
stuttered
again
will she hear
hypnotic eyes
flutter at glances
give in to
tangled lust
drawing breaths
tumbling out
like acrobats
an act
handmade just for two
as you and her collide
not without starry bounds
honing her almost
limitless
hovering yearning
embrace
gliding over heart beats
sweet endorphines
race
creating pungent sexy
and a dizzying array of
laser beams
shotting
from her tingling
center
still bungling
but that's part of the show
a burning newness
heats
anxiety flexible
her hands melt
away icy
fear
but excited adrenaline
still rushes
desire takes the helm
steering
into perfect hot
a tidal wave
of primal attraction
gushes out of
pores
each felt
perspire razored need
an aching
skin quivering
earthquake
felt so deep
that it lingers
far beyond the fantasy

NEGATIVE RAINBOW

               I'd hate to see RED,
                   get agent ORANGE sprayed on me,
                       have a YELLOW belly,
                               be GREEN with envy,
              sink down to a BLUE mood,
or be the recipient of a PURPLE nurple!

                                                           12/28/10

INTO WET

ESCAPE INTO WET
BECAUSE DRYNESS
LEADS TO THIRST
AN ARID DESERT
UNQUENCHED BY
A MUCH TO SIMPLE DEW

SOMETHING SO ELEMENTAL
SO BASAL AT OUT CORE
THAT THE ONLY WAY TO
RIDE INTO THE FLOOD
IS TO ESCAPE
INTO WET

12/28/10

DOUBTING DESIRE

shaking like I'm on the Grizzly
gotta gotta go
maybe I can find a way out
trying true tip-toe
-----------------------------------------
shoes off I go for the window
slightly stepping slide
but that turns into quaking limbs
soft surrender sighed
-----------------------------------------
halfway between death and freedom
make up maddening mind
standing with my eyes aimed forward
bleakest bi-way bind
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
accept failure and back i go
hello hellish hole
or face the fear that slags me down
getting gleaming goal
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
blackest pit is the easiest way
silence witting still
falling back in the smoother route
kinda karma kill
-----------------------------------------
senses fractured and lonely dark
creates calming cache
but my unused heart transforms to
growing ghastly gash
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
so do i opt the other one
window wonder world
scary trembling steps i must take
forcing fingers furled
-----------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------
breathing begins to get raspy
anxious ache amid
quivers start to boil over
locate leveling lid
-----------------------------------------
escaping through the keyhole-pane
kneading knotty knack
use the light that comes from within
losing labored lack
------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------
don't let things addle you up like
polarizing l poles
have faith in the choice made by our
shining shaky souls

12/16/10

RESILLIENCE

   In the year eighty
originate:
soul invited to birth.
Doll to crawl,
to walk tall
onto this messy plain.

   Bright eyes
never dimmed by
hurtful gestures.
Agile hands
not weakened by
crippling cracks of pressure.
Infectious squirrel smile
always close to start.

   Screaming guts
leading logically
in tow.
Tapping feet,
hardly ever
missing a beat
of Earth's soothing rhythm.

   Years: 30
moved to grieving tears.
But not without
a warm applause
felt deep within.
A heart so full
of healing love
for this little life
bursting,
like a firework.

12/12/10

SYNERGETIC DAYS

GREEN RADIOACTIVE
EATING AT OUT SOULS
CREATING MIMI CHASMS
EVER CREEPING HOLES

NEVER QUIT REDUCING
ALWAYS PRESENT DREAD
CLOUDING INDIGNATION
FILLING OUT MY HEAD

WHERE DOES RELENT ARREST
HERE OR HOLLOW DREAM
I GO WHERE MY CELLS FLOW
LIGHTLY TROD-ED SEAM

INTO LIGHT THAT'S LASTLY
BASK IN GLOWING RAYS
I CAN KNOW TGHE AURA
SYNERGETIC DAYS

12/5/10

Look its godzilla!

Im driving in the car with dave, john , mom, shawn, malaika , and tinker going to sausal creek to get some meds for me. I just wanted to see how easy it was to post from my phone!

HINDER

Syncopated sorrows
searing through used flesh
Pain crystals beat point-blank
aiming toward frayed chest

Why wicked, this showy
when it comes to feed
And hidden in deepest
preternatural need

Requisite breeds soldiers
and its army thrives
Military bases
cold trembling hives

Slow salute forced combat
trudging forward fight
Solemn cry faintly heard
war-racked silent night

Sun hinders the darkness
creep away the beast
Retreat back to the light
anxious achy feast

Gnash away gnarly teeth
fleeting safety met
Deceiving asylum
child eyes not earned yet

Inevitable join
this eve or afar
Heal in sunlit hallows
wear the scars that mar

11/16/10

PASSING PAIN

Guilt embraces like metal thorns
Surmised sin fraught and deeply worn
Let tears through guardian lashes
An end of blood-hot to ashes

Over-indulging reveries
And wicked one-way fantasies

Turbid smoke permeates my wounds
The color of anemic moons
A stifling cue of creeping fire
I wince against the taut barbed-wire

Graceful love like healing fingers
Massaging soul touch that lingers
Allow joy to draw through ripe veins
A splendid finish line remains

Conjure good and visualize
Healthy daydreams to realize

Intimate tact beating my heart
Tangible strokes creates raw art
Grazing palpus reminds the brain
I hug notions of passing pain

11/4/10