Im just sitting here. it is 2 am. or a little after. I tried watching tv and going on pogo. they both just made me do other things. i am thinking of making bacon. isnt that weird. jason and i fought again. i just want to be ok. i dont want to be dealing with this extra stuff. its like the computer and then this. its a little to dramatic. i dont know what to do about it except jsut support jason. i know abotu anger and rage. and i feel i cant judge him on it. it just makes me freak out. in the moment im just wanting to leave. who wouldnt. its not like violence is a stranger to us. just something that we usually share. or know. i dont know. im here murphy trying to eat our food. hes so lame. and gretta is sleeping in the way comfy place that is the dogs bed. i made it so great. i want to sleep with them. im beingnegative more thatn i usually do. i guess becuase im hurt or its an excuse im not sure. im just letting it go. mean he was really upset and is that enough for me to say hey ok its cool im here. i dont know. shuld i accept things becuase i can dish out really starnge things? thats what my dad says. but hes no expert on anything. i mean are my shortcomings allowing jason to be rude to me? i mean do i have to accept his stuff becyase he may accepts ome of mine? they are not the sa,e to me. . they are not alike. i mean i can see if we had the exact problems......but this is so differnt. i hate this. i hate defending. i hatre making excuses and making him seen ok. bacon here i come. its cooking now. about 3 peices. man im a fat pig with a propensity towards sloth and procrastination. jason probably will wake up becuase im making a high sound food.
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